Thursday, November 19, 2009

University of Krinkeland

I think most would agree that one of the primary roles of a parent is teacher. My parents are both teachers by profession and by passion. I always said I would have made a horrible teacher because I have no patience. Also, I don't much like other people's kids. Even when it comes to my own children, in some areas I am clearly deficient: my mom answers all of Amanda's science questions; my sister gives the girls piano lessons; a parent classroom volunteer taught Amanda how to tie her shoes.

Then, there are other areas, areas where I am an expert-- outstanding in my field-- but I can't seem to effectively convey the lessons to the fam. Professor Mommy of Krinkeland U. would like the following course offerings:

What "Not Yelling" Actually Sounds Like
If the Water Doesn't Go Down, STOP FLUSHING
Proof Those Are Your Dirty Socks
How I Knew That Toy was a Piece of Crap Before You Bought It
How to Replace a Toilet Paper Roll
The Shower Curtain Is not for Wiping
Boogers: Where to Put Them
How to Sit Here and Read Quietly
The Seven Deadly Sins:
*Writing on the Wall
*Embarrassing Mommy in the Store
*Leaving Chewed Gum
*Hitting with a Wiffle Bat
*Sucking on the Shopping Cart Handle
*Waking the Baby
*Whining
You Farted, So What?
It's Time to Stop Being Naked
No, You Can't Have a Sip (It's Vodka)
Mommy's Sleeping, the Tell-Tale Signs

1 comment:

Noel Paukert said...

May I have a sip?????? Thanks for your complete trust in me answering any questions.