"Oh, I don't know... We stay up late on Christmas Eve, so we know he doesn't get to our house till really late... I guess I figure he's all cookied out by the time he gets here."
"Come on, Mom, really?"
"Yeah, I mean, plus, he gets cookies at Grandma's house and lots of other places. Have you seen that guy? He clearly doesn't need any more cookies."
"Mom, Santa is supposed to get cookies at every, single house. At least leave him a carrot!"
"OK, if you want to-- you leave him a carrot next Christmas."
"No, Mom... Why don't you leave anything for Santa?"
"Why should I? Santa doesn't bring me gifts, anyway."
"Yeah, why doesn't he?"
"I don't know. Maybe I was a naughty girl."
"Don't you mean WOMAN?!"