Foot Fix

I told my in-laws tonight I was going to write a book about them. I am still chuckling over my MIL telling me about how the girls played beauty shop, where one applied makeup to her sisters and grandma, and the other was in charge of pedicures. "It was wonderful! She even shaved the rough skin off my heels, with one of those ped-o-files." Before I could decide whether to scream or laugh, my FIL firmly butted in, "No, that did NOT happen. I would NEVER allow one of those in the house."

The Drop Box

My sister shared this trailer on Facebook today, and I just cannot get it out of my head.



According to the official website, negotiations and plans are currently underway for a Summer 2013 release date. Something everyone should see, know, understand, help.

Loved

I am.

Lenten Sacrifice

On this Ash Wednesday, our family spent some extra time around the dinner table, discussing Lent and looking forward to Easter.  Catholics are big on Lenten sacrifices, fasting, and the like.  So, we also talked about what we would give up for Lent... the purpose of sacrifice to the Lord... making choices to improve our lives for the long run.

One child said she was going to focus on avoiding gossip.  Another said she was going to try really hard not to argue with her siblings. Benjamin declared, "I'm giving up candy for Lent!"  A sister pointed out that would mean skipping all of tomorrow's valentine treats.  Things got really quiet after that.

Bulking Up

One of the headlines to come out of last week's specialists' appointments for Benjamin is a renewed focus on weight gain. One doctor, in particular, was very concerned about Ben's extreme thinness. We do not, at this point, know whether there is some genetic reason for his low weight. (Looking at his parents, you would not necessarily think so, but, I assure you, we were both skinny kids. Really. Ask our moms.) But the thought is, for some reason, Ben's body requires more calories, fat and nutrients than others of similar age and size.

If all of this has a ring of familiarity, it is because you were following Krinkeland a good five years ago, when a different set of doctors had the same concern. We put Ben on a calorie-dense, fat-rich diet, paying special attention to what, how much, and how often he ate. Ben did gain weight, found himself a spot at the bottom of the growth chart, and just hung out.

After months of an expensive and lifestyle-altering diet, and slow but significant weight gain, I, as the main shopper, cook and feeder of this household, started relaxing a bit. We always had different choices available for Benjamin to snack on, but we stopped pushing them as much. I got told last week the laid back approach was not working and was challenged to step up my game. Yesterday, there was a long and educational conference call with a new dietitian. Today, I went to the grocery store.

Here are some of the staples of our son's eating plan:
*peanut butter
*Boost Kid Essentials or Pediasure nutrition shakes
*greek yogurt
*2% or whole milk
*trail mix
*eggs
*spreadable, flavored cream cheese
*powdered milk (to sprinkle into other dishes)

There are lots of rules, too:
*snack no more frequently than every two hours, to encourage feeling hungry
*drink a nutrition shake right before bedtime
*focus on plant-based "good" fats like olive oil, margarine, and avocado, instead of animal fats like butter and bacon; this is very important due to Ben's family history of heart disease and high cholesterol

The goal is for Benjamin to gain one pound a month over the next six months, so he can hit 44 pounds shortly after his seventh birthday. It seems like a lofty plan, but I put it out there to elicit support and encouragement (just as people do when they have a goal to lose weight.) Here's to beefing up Benjamin!

Playing Auntie

While running errands, I stopped for a little visit with my gorgeous and hilarious nieces. Their mother recently returned to work from maternity leave, so I figured their father may have his hands full with a three-month-old and a newly two-year-old. Madeline and I are not of any real assistance, but I am hopeful we at least offer a nice diversion. Plus, seeing his niece (my daughter) in action gives my brother a glimpse of what he's in for a year down the road. Example:

Madeline: "I want a cupcake."
Ted: "Well, it's almost lunch time. How about we have some lunch first and then you can have a cupcake?"
Madeline: "How about we have a cupcake first and then I won't be hungry for lunch?"

The fact that I have that type of exchange approximately 1,200 times a day at my house makes me appreciate all the more my younger nieces and nephew. Plus, now that my family is past certain stages (being challenged by two-piece puzzles, making airplane noises to encourage eating, high chairs, potty chairs, little-kid chairs) I really enjoy going back to those places.

On Thursdays, when three of my children receive piano lessons from my sister, I cherish the "conversations" I have with my 16-month-old nephew Elias. He says it all with his eyes, and his toothy, little grin, and the way he sits on my lap and turns pages in his beloved books. Eli still cuddles. Eli doesn't talk back. Eli says "down" when he means "up" but it's cute and not at all confusing.

So, today was my time with the girls. Lucia and I had an excellent conversation about "girrrrrls" and how Daddy and Jonesy are not girrrrrls. We practiced flushing the toilet. And I never tire of watching her trail after her beloved Maddy, learning, for bad or for worse, everything a big cousin has to teach.

I especially enjoyed my time with Eloise. Between influenza and snowstorms, it had been weeks since I got to hold the youngest member of our extended family. We laid on the floor staring at dangling toys and swatting them. I gave Eloise a bottle. I helped her father change her in what was definitely a two-person job. Then, I rocked her to sleep. Is there any feeling more incredible than cuddling another life in your arms and watching her relax and doze off, in total comfort and trust?

I could have held her all day. But my mommy tendencies won out over my auntie tendencies, and I eventually laid down Eloise because I believed it was best for her. Still, cradling that precious bundle poked at that part of me that misses having a baby. I wish I'd held mine more... rocked mine more... not been in such a hurry to put mine down. And I am thankful for opportunities I have to love up the babies in my life.

Snowbound

There are many things I wanted to do today, in particular celebrate with the fam my nephew Solomon's seventh birthday... But the snow storm put all that on ice. We made it no farther than church and back, but it was nice to be home, too. Even on a lazy, snowbound day, the kids found plenty to do: go sledding with the neighbor kids and the dog, practice piano, write out valentines, make blanket forts...

Jones's snow balls (to replace the ones he left at the vet's office last week)

Amanda fielding an IT call from Grandpa

Elisabeth writing a dictionary

Madeline stealing iPad time

Weekends at the Theater

This time of year, Krinkeland is all wrapped up in helping put on the annual musical theater production for Saints on Stage, the extra-curricular theater program we help run out of our kids' school. This season, we are doing "Guys and Dolls Junior." Amanda, Elisabeth and Benjamin all have roles; Todd is designing and building sets and designing lights; Grandma R. is the director; Grandpa R. and Grandma P.

You can find one or all of us doing something play-related pretty much every day of the week. My car sits outside in the cold because our entire garage has become a scene shop. He basement is collecting props and furniture and other assorted might-needs. Bags of fabric and snacks and copies are piled by the door in preparation for the next trip to the stage.

Today, in between runs to basketball games-- Amanda and Libby both had great showings where they hustled on the court and each scored multiple times; Ben, well, mostly stayed on the correct court and was sometimes even facing the right direction-- we were with other volunteers working at school. There is so much to be done to stage a production of this magnitude, and we are blessed with lots of dedicated volunteers who help make it all happen. (Plus, the kids got to play "Extreme Hide-and-Go-Seek" in the dark, empty school rooms.)

Belly Button Man

Today was Benjamin's annual "look-see" with the geneticist. I don't believe "look-see" is an actual medical term... but it's what I call it when the genetics director and others on her staff line up and examine my son. We also had an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist, our first since he was a toddler, to look into whether there is a medical reason for Ben's extreme thinness and somewhat small stature.

I am still processing everything that came-- or did not come-- out of today's visits... So, there is not much to say, other than that my son is healthy, just as healthy as he was before we saw these doctors and they started asking lots of pesky questions: How is his eyesight? Does he get frequent ear infections? What does his grandpa look like? Have you ever noticed this white stuff at the back of his throat? Are his sisters short? Does it take him longer than other people to recover from being ill? Does anyone else in your family have his same eye color? Has he been dehydrated or required I.V. fluids this year? Is it OK if we take some photos to study and show our colleagues after you leave? Is that applesauce on his pants?

Yes, I hope and pray that you never have to spend time in the genetics department discussing yourself or someone you love... someone you created out of love and grew in your own body, someone you know to be absolutely beautiful and brilliant and magnificent in every way... but someone who is described, kindly and compassionately, by the experts as "atypical" and "unusual" and "distinctive." We get a lot of "distinctive," which is just a synonym for "uniquely perfect," but I sometimes need to remind myself of that.

Benjamin does an excellent job of reminding others how uniquely perfect he is. Case in point: Belly Button Man. When each and every nurse, doctor and lab tech asked Benjamin to remove his shirt today, he or she was greeted by Belly Button Man. Unbeknownst to me, prior to the appointments, Ben had colored all over himself with blue Sharpie. He does this quite often, and usually tells me he is practicing for when he grows up and can get a real tattoo. I believe it.

The boy had dotted his arms and torso with blue freckles, had drawn flowery latticework around each nipple, and had drawn a funny face around his belly button. "What is THIS?!" the first doctor exclaimed, nearly dropping her stethoscope. "Oh," Ben shrugged, "that's Belly Button Man." Then he squished together the non-existent sides of his non-existent belly and had Belly Button Man talk to the doctor.

I was equally mortified and proud... which is a combination I seem to encounter frequently in motherhood.

Now that I was in on the joke, I began to look forward to each subsequent medical professional asking to examine Ben and requesting that he remove his shirt. The geneticist took photos of Belly Button Man to put in Ben's chart. Diagnose that!

Good Eats

In third grade, they've obviously spending time learning about nutrition and diet. Elisabeth has been keeping a food log, which is an excellent idea for her, but not for reasons you may think. The girl does not eat. Unless it's chocolate or ketchup, she just does not have much interest in food. However, if the teacher is keeping track, Libby does a better job of eating, particularly breakfast and snacks, which she typically prefers to skip. And, there is a part of me that does not want to push food on her-- As a nation, we overeat and we are overweight. If she is not hungry, why press it?

Still, the flip side to that is it is important to learn nutrition and how to make healthy choices. Bodies do need protein, vitamins and minerals to grow and develop properly. Libby came home earlier this week with a menu planned for a healthy family dinner, and she asked when we could have it.

We had it tonight.

This was Elisabeth's menu:
Skinless chicken breasts
Kidney beans
Rice
Carrots/celery/jicama
Strawberries
White milk

Yeah, the kidney beans threw me, too... But she said, "I thought they'd be interesting and I wondered what they taste like." Once we had made all the dishes, Libby insisted on portioning each plate, so we were all getting the correct amounts of each food. Then, she told her siblings and father, "Once you eat everything on your plate, then you can have seconds-- but only then." There were some wrinkled noses, though none of the items was new to our table... Just maybe the combinations or the preparations were new. Libby later bargained some down to a few bites or "just try it."

Everyone ate the chicken and the strawberries. Benjamin loved the entire meal, and praised it and its creator. Good boy.

I tell you, it was just nice to have someone else come up with the menu for once. Isn't that what we mothers/home cooks are always saying-- I don't mind cooking if someone will just tell me what to make?!

After dinner, I asked Elisabeth, "Since everyone tried our meal, and did pretty well, do you think it would be OK to have ice cream for a treat, or would that be too unhealthy?" She deadpanned, "No, I think ice cream would be all right."

Love Songs, by Joel

On a regular basis, Amanda asks me, "Mom, who is your Justin Bieber?" What she means is: Who was your first pop star crush? Whose music were you really into when you were my age? Who was the guy who made all the girls swoon?

I always have to think... And then she doesn't like my answer.

I mean, thirty years ago, at least in my home and my town, the music scene was not as prevalent as it is now for my kids. At age 10 or 11, I was just beginning to have an awareness of music stars. I got my first boom box, and the first cassette tape I had was Madonna. So, I tell Amanda, musicians like Madonna and Cyndi Lauper are some of the first artists I liked. But, they did not make me swoon. My best friend and, later, my little sister were very into Michael Jackson, but, even way back then, I found something creepy about him. The music of Prince was also huge... but the man was not.

No, when Amanda asks what she is asking, my most sincere answer is Billy Joel. I have always loved the music of Billy Joel. I don't care that he was old-- even then-- and terribly unattractive, with a train wreck of a personal life... A love of his music was pivotal in my childhood, formative years and upbringing.

I remember shortly after my grandmother died-- my youngest uncle, Scott, came to stay with us for a short time, and brought with him the "Glass Houses" album. He would stand next to my parents' stereo in the living room, wearing those big, foam-eared headphones with a curly cord that plugged into the receiver. Sometimes, he would uncouple the headphones so we could all hear the shattering glass sound effect and the music that followed. After Uncle Scott left, I remember my mom going to the store and buying her own copy of that album.

In high school, my best friend and I took in Billy Joel's "Storm" tour... Nosebleed seats in a gigantic arena, but we did not care. Joel did a handstand on the piano, and we screamed our guts out. "And So It Goes" was a popular ballad around that time, and I remember all the boys vying for a solo in choir, because they thought it would get them chicks. (Yep.) my friend Beth and I would drive around with the windows down, belting out "The Longest Time." There is not a better time than that.

Then, in college, there was the road trip to Chicago for "River of Dreams." I can't remember if I actually went or we just talked about going, which is sad... Joel just kind of dropped off the radar after that.

But his music has always been around our home, and I can never get enough. We have two, huge anthologies of his sheet music in the piano bench. I often wonder why there is not a Billy Joel station on the satellite radio. And I make references to his music all the time, like thinking maybe my brother and his wife could name their baby Leyna.

Today, the Amazon box was waiting by the front door, holding a collection of fun goodies, but, most prominently, a CD, "She's Got a Way: Love Songs." No, it's not new Joel music, but just a new collection of some oldies, but goodies. And, hasn't he proven himself enough? Well, there are some weirdo choices on this compilation, and some notable absences, but the CD does contain one of my all-time favorite Billy Joel songs, "You're My Home."
Enjoy. Feel young. Be someone's home.

Learning Her Letters

At least we have some time before this one goes to kindergarten!

Showcasing Our Girls

This weekend was the annual fundraising talent showcase at the kids' school. Both our girls took part. We had the opportunity to be proud.

Let Him Leave

Do you ever feel as though your real life is something akin to the plot of an international action story?  Yeah, well, me neither.  But something very real and very troubling is happening right now, to a dear friend of ours. 

We know him to be an honest and upstanding husband and father, and an excellent engineer and business executive.  He began telling us, during his family's visit to our home last summer, about his current work situation and the different levels of government discord, dysfunction and corruption he and his company face.  He had concerns then, which have since come to play out just as he feared:

Minnesota businessman barred from leaving Mongolia

         By Ed Stych Web Producer- Minneapolis / St. Paul Business Journal

 

A businessman from the Twin Cities area is asking Minnesota's U.S. senators for help in getting a ban lifted that is preventing him from leaving Mongolia.
Justin Kapla, who grew up in Elk River and is president of a Mongolian mining company called SouthGobi Sands, said the government is not allowing him to leave because he is a potential witness in a corruption case, The Associated Press reported.
Kapla's father, William Kapla of Forest Lake, said Sens. Al Franken and Amy Klobuchar and Rep. Michele Bachmann are working on the case.
In his letter to the three members of the Minnesota congressional delegation, Justin Kapla said the Mongolian government acknowledges that the alleged corruption happened well before he arrived in Mongolia, but the government won't let him leave so it can hold someone responsible if the investigation finds any wrongdoing by the company.
William Kapla said his son, who has his wife and two children with him, is free to work in Mongolia but not leave.
"Would you want to sit in a country with an exit ban so you couldn't leave? What if an emergency happened at home?" William Kapla said. Mongolia is a land-locked country in Central Asia, bordered by Russia to the north and China to the south.

This is an American citizen, and to some extent, we should all be afraid as his freedom is threatened.  As the business blogger who first broke Justin's story notes:
The U.S. Embassy in Ulaanbaatar Mongolia 2013 Investment Climate Statement on Mongolia states:
Regularly reported since 2010, Mongolian public and private entities continue to abuse the exit visa system to pressure foreign investors to settle civil and commercial disputes... Neither current law nor regulation establishes a clear process or time-table for settlement of such issues. Nor does the law allow authorities to distinguish a criminal and civil case when detaining a person. In fact, the Mongolian government maintains the right to detain foreign citizens indefinitely without appeal until the situation has been resolved.

I share this with all of you not out of morbid fascination, but because we never know who might be able to help.  This story is now circling through business and more mainstream media outlets.  It is believed media pressure may be helpful to the situation with the Mongolian government.  And, if nothing else-- better yet, with EVERYTHING else-- PRAY.  Please pray for Justin, his wife and their two children.  As Justin wrote to us today, he's just trying his best to get out of there.