I'm not always sleeping so well these days. But there is an upside. During the wee hours, when I can't-get-comfortable-might-as-well-turn-on-the-television-oh-it's-4-a-m-and-there-are-only-infomercials-on-- that's when I discover my true purpose in life. Why am I a mother? Why this fourth child? It is now clear he or she is coming into the world at a time when I will have the tools to raise a child perfectly, correctly, so I can finally do everything right. I discovered this: www.yourbabycanread.com.
The brilliant offspring of the genius and me will also be potty-trained by nine months and be doing mission work in Haiti instead of attending preschool. My other incredibly intelligent children could all have done this, too, but their mommy was too busy sipping Diet Coke and munching on Sugar Babies to take the time to teach them. The Your Baby Can Read infomercial taught me the error of my ways, and, this time, I'll be ready.
1 comment:
Hi Andrea - I found my way here via Ellen's blog. This post and the infomercial were hilarious. As I look over at my 3 month old, watch him as he tries to suck and stare at his hands at the same time (note the crossed eyes), while a steady stream of drool falls down the front of his shirt, I think to myself, wow, this is the best he can do! I suck at this parenting thing.
By the way, congratulations on baby #4.
-Kimberly Petrosky
(I should probably identify myself as I'm sure you have no clue who I am with my married name. I played Liesl in the ERCT production 1994? - Kimberly Anderson)
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