Renaissance Girls

Alternate title: The Day My Boobs Nearly Burst

After seeing great weather forecasts for this weekend, Todd and I decided to take Amanda and Elisabeth to the Renaissance Festival. It's one of those annual traditions with which Todd was raised. I can only take so much of affected accents and women stuffed into corsets, so every five or 10 years does me just fine. We hadn't really been since having children-- my mom agreed to stay with the two younger ones (now that would really have been a nightmare,) and we had some free tickets.

The weather did not disappoint, and, after a typical dispute over which route to take to get there (the fest is smack dab in the middle of nowhere,) we were off. It was different going with a seven-year-old and a five-year-old. They were fascinated by the scene and they liked the idea of being entertained, but Amanda and Elisabeth were really not equipped to sit through the various shows. They did not want to eat anything, and they did want to spend all their time in the shops. But, both girls came home with tales of belly dancers, magicians and firewalkers, in addition to some spectacular face painting.

My one major issue of the day (two, actually) was my role as human milk jug. I fed Madeline as usual through the early morning hours and pumped before we left. I decided not to bring the breast pump because it is electric and I figured (correctly) there would be nowhere to use it. I severely miscalculated how long we would be gone, and the toll it would take on my body. We left home just before 9 a.m. By midday, at the bird show, I was uncomfortable. At 3 p.m., sitting in the face painter's tent, I was in a world of hurt. On the ride home, between 4 and 5, I was in more pain than in the pushing stage of childbirth. In addition to the boulders pulling at my torso, I could not lift my arms. My head was pounding, I was nauseous, I was shaking and having hot flashes.

After arriving home and reuniting with the pump (Madeline was asleep and could not have cared less,) it took about an hour before I again began to feel human. Yes, I know all you other mothers are much smarter than I am and would never find yourselves in this predicament. Aah, motherhood. How did they do it in the Renaissance period? By the way, Amanda really wants one of those fancy costumes.