Being Dad

A number of years ago, probably when I was a new mother, I remember catching a talk show where Dr. Phil was trying to resolve some conflict, repair some relationship, and the "doctor" said something to one of his guests that has stuck with me, something about which I have often thought, and which I have occasionally requoted-- to men.  I don't remember the exact words, but the sentiment was: "Being a man is hard.  You have a lot of roles to fill, a lot of hats to wear.  This is not 1950-- You can no longer expect to bring home a paycheck, and, in exchange, spend the rest of your time in 'your chair' with a newspaper and a scotch."  I did a quick Google search and believe I found the actual material here, if you are interested.

He was referring, of course, to working mothers and the changing roles and labor divisions in relationships and households.  But, more than that, I believe Dr. Phil was referring to FATHERHOOD.  In moments of exasperation, I have been known to point out to my husband, "They're YOUR kids, too!"  The sentiment behind that is something like, "Tag, you're it!"  But, the larger point is that our families really, really need men.  I NEED a husband and my children NEED their father.  So many things in life, this man does as no other person can.  It's a huge responsibility and a respectable burden.

Today, on Father's Day, I honor my father, my fathers-in-law, my brother, my brother-in-law, and many other loving men in our lives, for stepping up and fulfilling ALL these roles.  It is not easy... and no one ever said it would be.  Still, I know, at least here in Krinkeland, being Dad can be a thankless job, even less revered than being Mom!  I respect my husband for being a father-- for setting the example in faith and church life; for choosing the best school for our children; for funding dance class and piano lessons and gymnastics class and VBS and Y camp and basketball camp and t-ball and Build-a-Bear excursions and birthday parties and new tennis shoes; for cuddling; for answering uncomfortable questions; for zooming out of work to make it to every t-ball game; for agreeing to be in the community theater production so he would have the chance to be on stage with his daughters; for offering healthier eating choices; for researching Raves and other fun toys; for attending puppy training; for being DAD.

I love you, Todd.  Thanks for being my kids' dad.  I can't believe I just quoted Dr. Phil.

“Listen, there is no way any true man is going to let children live around him in his home and not discipline and teach, fight and mold them until they know all he knows. His goal is to make them better than he is. Being their friend is a distant second to this.”

--Victor Devlin